Thursday, 26 July 2012

This is the end my friend

Goodbye sweet maternity leave.  May we meet again some day and reunite to the tune of 2 naps a day, playing in the park and wearing ravioli for the whole day.  The time has come that I must bid farewell to making dates whenever I want, going on vacation whenever I want, shopping whenever I want (all around the baby's schedule of course).  I already have no time to do anything  except browse facebook, read magazines, and get mani/pedis, so how on earth will I be able to do that AND work?
Mason has entered such an awesome stage in his life where he is potentially the coolest person I know.  He is so honest and innocent and doesn't care who knows it.  If he likes you he will lunge into your arms and not even question if you will catch him.  He knows you will cause he's already got you whipped.  If he doesn't like you or the situation he will stick out his bottom lip and cry in your face.  And someone had better rectify the situation cause if not he will reach the point of mental break down and there is no coming back.  He is my little parrot baby that is trying his damnedest to say everything that comes out of our mouths (see previous posts regarding trying to censor myself.  Still a work in progress).  He astonishes us daily with the things he is saying and doing, and it saddens me that someone else will get to see it all day and I won't.
I know in today's society there are very few people that take the plunge into full time mommyhood and stay home with their kids.  It takes tremendous courage and many sacrifices to do this, and I am envious and look up to these families.  These moms and dads may lose a bit of touch with the adult world for a short while, but  what they are gaining is worth so much more.  I have looked at my life from a lot of different angles in the last year and have written and re written what feels like 100 budgets to try and make staying home a possibility.  No matter how I crunch those numbers they still do not add up to us being able to live comfortably (unless I start pumping and making breast milk cheese and yogurt and selling it around the hood).  So alas I am heading back into the workforce.  It is coming with a real mixed bag of emotions, but mostly grief.  I am grieving the loss of watching my little man all day.  I am grieving the loss of play dates with my mommy friends.  I am grieving 2 naps a day.  This too shall pass.

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